You're not the only one who's ever found themselves in this situation. To read other stories from someone who's "been there" click on one of the links below.
Questions the guy should ask himself BEFORE becoming sexually active...
- If your girlfriend became pregnant would you leave her?
- Are you ready to support a child with your time, energy, and money for at least the next 18 years?
- Will you accompany your girlfriend to inform her parents of the news?
- Are you willing to give your child a two-parent family?
- You should know that you have no legal say in the choice your girlfriend makes with the baby. She may decide to keep the baby, let go for adoption, or have an abortion; in either case are you prepared to live with that decision for the rest of your life?
- Would you be willing to release your child for an adoption?
- Are you willing to learn all about abortion so that you can anticipate possible medical complications and possible relationship conflicts?
If you suspect that your girlfriend is ALREADY pregnant...
......we want you to know that HHPRC has a wealth of resources and information that specifically address your needs as a male. We can provide you with accurate information and practical support regarding issues such as:
- Pregnancy options
- Rights and responsibilities of fathers
- How to become an effective father
- Establishing paternity
- Sexually transmitted diseases
- How to support the baby's mother
- Continuing your education
Quick advice that may be of benefit right now.
- LISTEN. The situation involves more than just you. There are now three lives to think about.
- STAY CALM. She needs your support now more than ever. She may be carrying the baby, but you are BOTH parents, and regardless of your relationship in the future, that baby needs you too.
- TALK ABOUT IT. Not only with each other, but prepare to talk with parents and others close to the situation. Hiding the news from people who can genuinely help you only increases the stress.
- GATHER ALL THE FACTS. Get all the information and seek wise counsel so you can make the best decision for both of you.
- EXPRESS YOURSELF HONESTLY. It's normal to have feelings of anger, frustration and fear.. But make sure she knows she is not alone.
- DON'T BAIL. The more you run from this, the harder it becomes to think and act clearly.
- DON'T PRESSURE HER. Applying pressure will only push her away, possibly into a regretful situation. You will do well to work together as a team.
- DON'T FORGET. You have a very active role in this situation. Listen to inputs as well as give your thoughts.